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Tonglen is a Tibetan Buddhist practice that trains the mind to breathe in suffering and breathe out comfort and ease. This is, of course, the absolute opposite of what our minds habitually do. We have been trained our whole life to cling to pleasure and push suffering away. But paradoxically, this makes us suffer more. The Tibetan practitioners realised that if we can reverse that polarity, then we become fearless. We have already accepted the painful, so when it comes it's n

A lovely new friend of mine was pondering the pile-up of stress that comes with the traditional New Year on the 1st January. She realised that in the West, the year started too soon. New Year’s resolutions kick in before the 12-day Christmas feast is over. And the dark, Yin time of the year gets hijacked by the Yang energy of doing and productivity. Yin-uary becomes Yang-uary. The traditional seasonal rhythm of dying back and patiently waiting for life to stir is disrupted.

I just wanted to run through some of these do's and don'ts. So these are things I've collated over the years in my work as a therapist,