Busy-ness: It’s a Manager Thing

Busy-ness comes from old managers from the past

The Summer busy-ness is getting amplified I’ve been away. Or rather I’ve been away from my computer. And therefore away from this. But I have been doing good nourishing things, so I hope that I come back a little warmer, wiser, with some things to say.  Traditionally (and by that I mean for the last […]

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The Ego is Just a Phase…

[This is a second excerpt from the recent ‘Tender Heart’ Scarborough Retreat held in March 2019. The first is here.  This is a transcript from day 3 looking at the ego phase we all need to grow through… Alistair has just been talking about how when things feel ‘too much’ in meditation we lurch towards […]

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Tapping and Meditation: Coming Out as a Practitioner of Both

statue with tapping marks on face and torso

Tapping and meditation are my guilty secret There’s a thing that I have been keeping quiet about and I’m not sure why.  Many years ago, when I was finishing five years of therapy with my wonderful therapist, Ruthie, she looked at me and said: “You realise that we’ve been working together all these years and […]

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Alistair Appleton LGBT video: Survival of the Gentlest

Alistair Appleton LGBT video Survival of the Gentlest A few people have mentioned this YouTube clip of me giving a ‘sermon’ at the wonderful Brighton Metropolitan Community Church a few years back. So I thought I’d post it here since I didn’t put it up here the first time around!    

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Mögu & My Problem with Teachers

Holy Island Mindsprings Winter Retreat Blog

The need to be a ‘know-it-all’ I have a problem with teachers.  When I was little  – for various reasons I won’t bore you with – I always felt that I had to know the answer before the question was asked. The possibility of being wrong or not being ‘perfect’ was a big problem for […]

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Ben the Protector Dog

the sweetest, fondest, brightest dog I’ve ever had Ok, so we have a dog. A puppy. A 40kg puppy.  My husband promised that our Spanish rescue was a small boy, the little one of the litter and probably wouldn’t be any bigger than 35kg full grown.  When he hopped out of the transport van that […]

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Leaving the Toddler Mind at the Porch of the Church

An art historian with a spooky and potentially kinky relationship I was just reading a lovely article by the New York composer Nico Muhly in the London Review of Books. He was describing his method of composition – which seems to involve a dizzying array of folders and layers and copies and projects which he […]

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The Morning Dread: Shaking Hands with Anxiety

A horrible year of anxiety  completely ruined my sleep cycle. I used to sleep like a log. Like my father in fact, who falls asleep instantly and wakes early each morning. I used to sleep like that. A satisfying black-out with no consequences that I can remember. I simply got up and started my day.  […]

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The pleasure of being scared in the dark

Frensham Pond in Surrey was where I felt it.  Feeling pretty crappy after a weird virus that left me with really sore knuckle-joints and ankles, I bailed on a team dinner and stayed at the hotel. I thought it would be good to go for a little walk before crashing under the duvet. All week […]

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After a lifetime of searching Alistair finds himself

I have spend four decades (probably more) looking to find myself There’s a great cartoon I saw recently which shows a man looking under a bed at his double  – same shirt, same trousers, same hair – who’s lying there, hiding. The caption runs: “After a lifetime of searching, Leonard finds himself.” The more I […]

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