The Ego is Just a Phase…

[This is a second excerpt from the recent ‘Tender Heart’ Scarborough Retreat held in March 2019. The first is here.  This is a transcript from day 3 looking at the ego phase we all need to grow through… Alistair has just been talking about how when things feel ‘too much’ in meditation we lurch towards […]

Read More

Tapping and Meditation: Coming Out as a Practitioner of Both

statue with tapping marks on face and torso

Tapping and meditation are my guilty secret There’s a thing that I have been keeping quiet about and I’m not sure why.  Many years ago, when I was finishing five years of therapy with my wonderful therapist, Ruthie, she looked at me and said: “You realise that we’ve been working together all these years and […]

Read More

Alistair Appleton LGBT video: Survival of the Gentlest

Alistair Appleton LGBT video Survival of the Gentlest A few people have mentioned this YouTube clip of me giving a ‘sermon’ at the wonderful Brighton Metropolitan Community Church a few years back. So I thought I’d post it here since I didn’t put it up here the first time around!    

Read More

Mögu & My Problem with Teachers

Holy Island Mindsprings Winter Retreat Blog

The need to be a ‘know-it-all’ I have a problem with teachers.  When I was little  – for various reasons I won’t bore you with – I always felt that I had to know the answer before the question was asked. The possibility of being wrong or not being ‘perfect’ was a big problem for […]

Read More

Ben the Protector Dog

the sweetest, fondest, brightest dog I’ve ever had Ok, so we have a dog. A puppy. A 40kg puppy.  My husband promised that our Spanish rescue was a small boy, the little one of the litter and probably wouldn’t be any bigger than 35kg full grown.  When he hopped out of the transport van that […]

Read More

Leaving the Toddler Mind at the Porch of the Church

An art historian with a spooky and potentially kinky relationship I was just reading a lovely article by the New York composer Nico Muhly in the London Review of Books. He was describing his method of composition – which seems to involve a dizzying array of folders and layers and copies and projects which he […]

Read More

The Morning Dread: Shaking Hands with Anxiety

A horrible year of anxiety  completely ruined my sleep cycle. I used to sleep like a log. Like my father in fact, who falls asleep instantly and wakes early each morning. I used to sleep like that. A satisfying black-out with no consequences that I can remember. I simply got up and started my day.  […]

Read More

The pleasure of being scared in the dark

Frensham Pond in Surrey was where I felt it.  Feeling pretty crappy after a weird virus that left me with really sore knuckle-joints and ankles, I bailed on a team dinner and stayed at the hotel. I thought it would be good to go for a little walk before crashing under the duvet. All week […]

Read More

After a lifetime of searching Alistair finds himself

I have spend four decades (probably more) looking to find myself There’s a great cartoon I saw recently which shows a man looking under a bed at his double  – same shirt, same trousers, same hair – who’s lying there, hiding. The caption runs: “After a lifetime of searching, Leonard finds himself.” The more I […]

Read More

Working with emotions using meditation

The evolutionary background of working with emotions using meditation. We are emotional creatures.  From an evolutionary perspective, we’ve been emotional about 54x longer than we’ve been rational. And this is reflected in our bodies and brains.  Evolution doesn’t work by clean starts. It’s always working with what  was there before. So when our hominid forebears […]

Read More