Light over Tidemills

Tidemills is a former 19th C. workers village on the shingle beach between Seaford and Newhaven where I live.

Sitting with the Jellyfish Within

It’s amazing over the course of a retreat day how many different Alistairs show up on the cushion.

Daylight and the Fourth Time

About half way through the retreat - after the fireworks of NYE were a distant memories and I’d got used to the regular routine of my day - something happened to time.

Field becomes figure, foreground becomes background.

Bimbling around the wintery garden in my ‘chores’ window each afternoon, I was very aware of that inner soundtrack of my thoughts - often irritated or obsessive - cycling round just as, days before, strains of “Jesus Christ Superstar” had cycled round.

Cushion in the filth

Shortly after I shook off ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’, the next layer of neurosis came out of the haze.

Jesus Christ Superstar

Daniel was away in the Rockies on Dathun (the silent sitting retreat that Dharma Ocean runs) this New Year, so to start 2018, I stayed in Newhaven and did a 2 week solitary ‘home retreat’ in my house.

Ignorance or Melting the iceberg of dissociation

The last and final and most powerful agenda of all is not-seeing.

Greed and "self-snugness"

The second great agenda is Greed.

This is the one I had most problems identifying. I could sheepishly get in contact with my inner Nazi, even if it felt grisly to do so, but I could never quite see myself as a greedy, acquisitive person.

...who lightens the load of others.

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the load of other" Charles Dickens,

on Western Road in Brighton, outside the Shelter Charity shop.

Aggression, your inner Genghis Khan

This is the first of a set of three blog posts on the three great agendas that we secretly (or not so secretly) commit to when we let the Ego run things. The first of the three agendas is… Aggression