Hugs, Patti! I wish for your release from all pain.

Ah. Can you also wish yourself free of the anger and resentment around your pain? That’s allowed too! 😀

Patti, you ARE a Buddha. I remember the teaching of Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo, a great teacher, who said during a Tara practice; "remember that you are not Mary Smith pretending to be Tara, you ARE Tara thinking that you are Mary Smith" One of my teachers said that we have to realize that all of our emotions are a perfect manifestation of being. In the West we are conditioned to seek and rejoice in those emotions that are pleasurable and reject what we consider uncomfortable or painful, But we must strive to accept whatever arises, without indulging or rejecting what appears in us. Accepting the suchness, the isness of what arises brings the "wisdom of equality", the realisation that all phenomena have always been of ‘equal taste’ within great rigpa-awareness. Rejoice that you are alive and capable of feeling all the range of human emotions, for all of them are a play, a movement of our true Buddha nature. 😀❤️